Just thinking

I havent written in a while, and I note that I have lost the focus originally intended, but at the same time, this blog has provided a wonderful outlet for much frustration as of late.
I am going to try and focus on my next work...

Selena Anando Pt. 8

Ariel got a job working at the tiny coffehouse cleaning tables and any odd jobs that needed to be done. She saw so little of Rei now, but strangely he felt so close to her. She thought of him increasingly as her father and had less of an attraction for him. Attraction was the coals in the serpent's mouth. Alason had all but dissapeared and she didn't mind. She didn't want to see him, especially after the embarassing public fight that happened just a short time earlier.
One day, she got a letter slipped under her door, it was from Rei, and he was worried. He wanted to meet, as soon as possible to discuss something on his heart. It was mid-day and Ariel raced to the Fuente Delmarren to meet him soon. He was waiting for her. She could hardly contain her excitement to see him. She had been so down lately with so many secrets locked in her heart that he didn't know, would know, but no one else had ever heard of. They embraced softly, quietly but no one paid any mind to them. Worried for his safety, she asked him what was going on. He suspected Alason had taken her away. He did, but she really didn't want to admit it, it was not the first time and she was supposed to have already learned her lesson. She did, after some time. When your mouth is defiled, one does not speak, one cannot speak.
Rei encouraged her to go to the authorities, despite her fear, near paranoia. And that she did.
At first, they seemed to do nothing, but was there anything to be done? The evidence was little, especially in light of silence. The silence was broken as they spied on Alason.
There was much fear and much anger in Ariel, more anger than fear that sparked a reactionary that even suprised her.

Now she sits in the dark, and dreams of getting out...lives alone in a cardboard box somewhere on the boulevard when she should have a mansion. Waiting for the fruit of the word to fall and give her the security that she isn't going to be hit.

Alason still hides, he's afraid of Rei but he'll never hurt anyone ever. Alason just doesn't get that.

Rei is as he's always been and that's how it is down in Selena Anando.
It sure looks hopeless, but peace is.

Happy (belated) Mother's day!!

I wrote this poem sunday and I read it in church, everyone seemed to like it, and I am glad!
It was inspired by Hope Jones and a few anonymous members of the church and a few fathers also(suprising, I know). Currently it's still untitled...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swirling inward among the empty shell
is the debris of shattered dreams
it is a personal hell
to be cut on all the memories

Searching inward among the debris
in her hands she holds her head
as she looks for what's left of peace
and almost wishes that she were dead

Her heart and home are broken
she tried so hard to love and to hold
supposedly "hated forever" she's told
oh, lord! Bring them back again!

Her daughter's gone away and so has her son
they just don't care anymore
memories flash by of days long gone
on some distant foggy shore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bringing the new baby home
seeing them begin to walk
and learning to do things on their own
and even to talk

being proud of them for every acheivment
an "A" on the test or in the class
and sometimes bringing a punishment
when they've been bad

kissing every owie and hurt
loving them with everything
always putting them first
now will they do the same?

they accepted Jesus
on their little knees
but I think they forgot

whatever happens lord, it's in your hands
you know just how much I love them
just bury this burden in the sands
just take control for I am undone
one day they will come back again
we will keep trying untill the battle's been won

searching inward among the debris
in her hands she holds her head
God gives her eternal peace
she no longer feels dead.

Parody of Michael Nesmith's "Tonight(The Television Song)" Oshkosh Style!

(note:the real words are found here and I wrote this in early December 2005)
I got to move
though not very far
I got to get in
and I fight real hard
here come the cops
raising up the alarm
Tonight

go get the gun
underneath the desk
go get them all
inside your head
I can only hope
you've got the eyes
I've got the pearls
where are we going
to stay for the night?
leave behind your toys
Tonight

What in the world is there to do?
When it's only just us two
trying their hardest in this one life
and sometimes the singers are out of tune!
Us too!

Hold back the cops
don't need to know
I'll get my purse,
and then we'll go.
Sherrie loves Bob
Pete don't need a shave
Inside we're hot
what a way to behave
Tonight

Take on some shape
get through a fool
"I can't take a break
I got to get to school"
"not till dawn"
"I want some more"
It was just a little and then there was more
Tonight

What in the world is there to do
when it's only just us two
trying their hardest in this onelife
and sometimes the singers are out of tune
our minds are too!

What in the world is there to do
and it's only just us two
trying their hardest in this one life
sometimes the singers are out of tune
Us too!

What in the world is there to do
when it's only just us two
oh, everyone's doing their darndest in life
and sometimes the singers are out of tune
our minds are too!

Untitled

I see your tears, your pain and I feel more
than any words can tell anyone
I no longer feel torn
I feel a reciprocated love
and as for the past, let it burn!

Poison

I heard the words from your lips
it was pure poison, sweet foul poison.
In your veins it lives
-it's your very lifeblood
in a sticky trip
killing us all one by one